Vanilla
by Phenomiracle
Summary: Fuming at Eren's embarrassing prank, Jean swears vengeance. Follow along as everyone's favorite horseface crushes Mikasa's heart, ruins Bertholt's bet, and turns Eren into a source of infatuation for a starved Sasha. Oneshot.


**First Attack on Titan fic.**

Jean and Connie burst outside the boys' barracks, panting heavily.

"Was this honestly the best idea you could come up with?" Connie asked, slightly exasperated as he held up a bottle of body wash.

"It's brilliant and you know it." Jean retorted.

"Eren let gas out of your tanks, you went splat in training," Connie began, "And your idea of a comeback is switching his normal body wash to a vanilla-scented type?"

"Did someone...say...vanilla…" A tired female voice called out, startling the boys.

Jean and Connie turned to see Sasha hunched over in exhaustion, sweating profusely and eyes glazed over. The two sighed in relief.

"No, Sasha." Connie said.

"Go back to your laps, your punishment for nicking our class's share of meat. Stupid bread-girl." Jean said bitingly, taking his anger out about Eren's prank and Connie's remark on the starved cadet.

Sasha flinched, slightly hurt. "I'll just go back to laps, don't tell Instructor Shadis I stopped…" She said before limping away.

Jean and Connie watched as she walked out of earshot. "That was harsh," Connie said.

Jean put a palm to his forehead and sighed, "Yeah, it was a bit much. I'll apologize to her later."

"So what's the idea, here? I'm not seeing the brilliance just yet." Connie said, folding his arms.

"Look, I had to get him back today while what happened to me is still fresh on everyone's mind!" Jean snapped. "The scent is strong, abnormally strong. With our no perfume or scented washes rule, Instructor Shadis will be on his ass in no time."

Connie stayed quiet as he contemplated. "Hm...I still don't know."

The two stopped as they heard footsteps approaching and voices of their classmates.

"Well, looks like he's here," Connie said, turning his head and watching Eren, Marco, and Armin approach their barracks, talking animatedly.

"Game time," Jean said, cracking a smirk. "This should be good."

"Whew!" Eren exclaimed as he walked with the rest of the guys to the dinner hall, freshened up after a long day of hard training.

"Looking forward to the three-day break. Got any plans, guys?" Eren turned to look at his roommates.

"I think I'll do some hiking up to the mountains and see some scenery," Armin said, a finger pressed to his lip as he pondered.

Reiner clapped his large hand on Armin's shoulder. "Sounds like fun, I've never done any mountain hiking. Mind if Bertholt and I tag along?"

The smaller blonde turned, seeing Reiner's and Bertholt's smiling faces. "Oh sure! More the merrier." Armin said happily.

"So Eren, you cleaned up well. Nice smell." Jean said, smirking at Eren. Everyone quieted and watched on awkwardly.

Eren looked at Jean, "Thanks...Jean."

The silence continued for a few moments, while everyone except Connie, who was internally dying of laughter, stared at Jean. The events of earlier today were clearly fresh in everyone's memories.

The exercise was a fairly routine one, designed to help cadets improve altitude ascension speed. With empty tanks, courtesy of Eren, Jean took off on a running start and released his ODM trigger while jumping, expecting to be lifted upwards. Instead, he ended up flailing wildly, landing face-first after an embarrassing two-skip jump.

"What is it?" Jean said, looking around incredulously at everyone's faces.

"Listen Jean," Eren began, slightly hesitant, "I'm sorry about earlier, even as a prank I went too far."

Connie burst out laughing.

"Oh-uh," Jean began, hating Connie. He felt disarmed. "N-no worries, it's the past."

"Really?" Eren said. "Well, that's cool. I won't do any pranks anymore."

"Sure." Jean said, looking away awkwardly.

The guys continued conversing about their plans until they heard a heavy growl. The guys turned toward the direction of the intimidating noise, immediately stepping into their defensive stances.

"A bear?" Armin called out timidly.

A shape began to take form in the darkness as the mysterious figure drew closer.

Marco squinted. "Looks a bit small for a bear."

Suddenly, the form let out a high-pitched squeal and rushed at the boys.

"Watch out!" Reiner called, trying to step in front of the mysterious figure and shield his friends.

Unfortunately, the form was far too quick for him. It evaded Reiner with ease and made a beeline for Eren.

"VANILLA!" The figure screamed while lunging at shocked brown-haired boy.

"Whoa, what the hell!?" Eren yelled while falling back. " _Sasha!?_ " He exclaimed as the lights from the campfire fell on the attacker, revealing her identity.

"So hungry...will not be denied..." Sasha moaned as she nuzzled Eren's cheek with her nose, her hand caressing his face.

"Get a gr-" Eren began before freezing up as Sasha arched her back into him and started giving his cheek wet, hard licks.

Time froze as everyone gaped at the two, stunned.

"What are you doing!?" Eren said, grabbing her shoulders and attempting to pry the crazed girl off of him. "You're covered in sweat, you smell like crap! Get off!"

Sasha, on the other hand, had found her prey. And she had no plans of relinquishing him.

"VANILLA!" She screamed excitedly, her cheeks flushed. "MY FAVORITE!"

She panted as she licked and nibbled all over Eren's face and neck, keeping a fierce grip on the struggling boy. A crowd began to gather around Eren and Sasha, laughing and observing Sasha's assault on Eren.

Connie held a hand to his mouth, fighting back his laugh as he watched Jean's face grapple with his many emotions.

"So much for revenge, buddy."

"Shut the hell up, chrome-dome." Jean growled angrily.

Eren looked around, furious. "Anyone who wants to help, feel free to!"

"Eren, don't you think you're taking this too far?" Armin hissed nervously as the crowd laughed.

"Take what too far!?" Eren yelled, "SHE'S ON TOP OF ME, ARMIN!"

"Eren, stop it!" Armin said, a concerned look on his face. Eren gaped his best friend, flabbergasted.

"This is all fun and games but if Mikasa sees this, then-"

"If I see what, Armin?"

Armin froze and slowly turned around. The crowd hushed instantly, the silence only broken by the footfalls of the 104th's top cadet and Sasha's heavy panting.

"Mikasa, hey!" Armin said, shaking slightly as the raven-haired young woman approached him, "Nothing, I didn't say anything-"

"What's all this commotion abou-" Mikasa began before stopping suddenly, her eyes falling on the tangled heap of Eren and Sasha on the ground.

"Wha-" Eren said, confused at everyone's silence, before his eyes found his adoptive sister.

"Mikasa, hey!" He greeted, before a hard nibble at his ear from Sasha reminded him of his precarious position.

Armin gulped as Mikasa started forward, a thousand-yard stare in her eyes.

"Hey, you two." Mikasa said with a deadly voice.

"So who's actually screwed here?" Reiner whispered to Bertholt, "Is it Eren or Sasha?"

Bertholt nervously shrugged in response.

"I hope she gets both of them," Ymir remarked casually nearby.

"Mikasa, no." Eren said annoyed, as he watched her approach the two of them. "I don't need your help for God's sake, I can handle this on my own-OW!" He yelped as Sasha bit his cheek.

Armin slapped his forehead. Only Eren would be dense enough to misunderstand this situation.

Mikasa froze in her steps. Her eyes began to well, her expression giving away her despair. "You...you mean," She began, her voice shaking, "You're actually enjoying this? You-you want her like that?"

Armin looked at Mikasa, stunned. Apparently both of his lifelong friends had lost their minds.

"What are y-AH!" Eren began before letting out a loud gasp as Sasha gave his neck a hard bite, grinding her hips against his and shocking the onlookers. This was clearly getting out of hand. Armin heard Mikasa give a small but very obvious dry sob.

"Eren, you pig!" Christa cried, taking in Mikasa's words. "I can't believe you exploited Sasha's hunger just so you could do this!"

"Alright Eren!" Reiner whooped while grinning, looking over at the brown-haired boy still stuck under Sasha, "I knew you had it in you." He turned and gave a smug look at Bertholt, who looked less than pleased. "You owe me twenty, cough up."

"Okay, you were right," Connie laughed, leaning over to Jean, "This is pretty hilarious. Looks like a win for you." He said, before looking into Jean's face.

Jean gaped at at Mikasa as she shook in her boots, wearing an indiscernible expression as her eyes shined with the slightest hint of tears. He glanced back at Sasha, who was beginning to unbutton Eren's shirt while moaning loudly, her cheeks red.

" _Why the hell does it still feel like I'm the one losing here_?"

 **Reviews are love.**


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